Anti-Social Behavior of Zombies

My last post, written three months ago was perhaps a little misdirected. In the intervening time I have had considerable trouble trying to befriend a zombie. New Conclusion: zombies are not bored, they're anti-social.

Not even one zombie I spoke with wanted to talk, or go out to eat (my treat - honest I offered), or even considered a nice set of clothes at my expense. All they wanted to do was eat my brains.

They don't eat brains for the culinary adventure, or the social intercourse, or as a hobby, or even an occupation. They eat brains because they are RUDE! Conclusion - Zombies are anti-social.

Please, don't misunderstand me. Zombies are not introverts - those who actually derive pleasure and energy from being alone, or in one-on-one, or one-on-two friendships. Introverts can, given proper warning and opportunity, enjoy gatherings of people, it just wears them down. (Unlike extrovert who derive satisfaction and energy from groups and actually run down if they're alone of with just one person.) NO, zombies are ANTI-social, they hate society, people, humanity. Conclusion - zombies aren't people. They only "hang" with their own kind, and even then seem totally unaware of each other.

So, my apologies for the suggestions last post. From now on I'll test out my ideas first before I suggest them. In the mean time,

Consume some caffeine,
don't become a zombie,
and stay alert.

Zombies and the need for new experiences

Fact: Zombies are the living dead. They have been infected with a virus which has killed them and then reanimates their bodies with the only goal of eating living peoples brains.

Now according to Andrew Zimmern of Travel Channels "Bizarre Foods", brains are very good tasting when prepared right. But, come on, zombies eat the brains raw and don't even have their own TV show to exploit their weird appetites. Why do they do it? For fun?

Let's look at this. You walk around all day (and night) stiff legged, moaning and killing people only to eat their raw brains. That seems like a formula for boredom to me. There you go, zombies aren't horrifying, their just bored.

They need variety. New scenes, new activities, new clothes (can't argue with me here you've seen what they wear), new and varied foods, maybe some good conversation (after all the other zombies are a real drag).

So, next time you see a zombie don't run away screaming, befriend them. Take them out for a new suit or dress, don't forget the shoes, and a nice meal at an exotic restaurant.

Till next time,
consume some caffeine,
and befriend the undead.